MOVIE REVIEW! – ‘WW84’ (Wonder Woman 1984)

30-Second Review:

Has nothing to do with the DCEU soooo…unless you are a HARDCORE Wonder Woman fan it’s 2hr 20min of your life. The good news is that Cheetah doesn’t completely suck; the bad news is Wonder Woman doesn’t have any A-Level villains to fight. This made me want to watch Justice League again. I don’t even LIKE the Justice league movie.

FULL REVIEW!

Off the bat, Wonder Woman takes place in the 1980s and feels like an attempt by DC to create the success of Marvel’s ‘Captain Marvel‘, which itself was another superhero period piece (1990s).

I will stay largely spoiler-free, but you should know that – unlike Captain Marvel – WW84 is a standalone movie with no real connection to the current DCEU. If you are looking for a companion piece to the current DC storyline, I will save you two and a half hours. (zzz)

That being said… you can really only compare to the original Wonder Woman movie, which I thought was excellent except for that Dreadful ending.

Pedro Pascal (The Mandalorian) and Kristen Wiig (SNL Alumni) are the two antagonists. They do well enough with their characters, but I was expecting something different – something MORE 🤷🏽‍♂️ . Pedro plays C-Level DC comic book villain Max Lord, and trust me, it doesn’t matter.

‘My blonde wig is the best FX in this movie’

…instead lets talk about Kristen Wiig as Cheetah!

Ever since the trailer debuted over a year ago, I thought Wiig was a strange choice to play a super villain, but turns out her performance was…pretty good? I mean, for a C-List villain. But I must admit that the way Cheetah was created it actually had the whole ‘Batman Returns‘ vibe – when Michelle Pfeiffer became Catwoman – but Cheetah was more CGI-y.

(When you’re dealing with a supervillain who is part human/ part cheetah you better get it right. Otherwise, you get CATS And not the beloved stage version, the bizarre movie version)

The plot is a bit outrageous and over-the-top. Seeing as Wonder Woman is a mythological hero, I guess the studio decided to go with a MAGIC scenario…. which is in Stark contrast to Marvel’s entire technology based/ alien Invasion backdrop (see the pun I did there? ‘Stark’…. 🤣🤣🤣)

Overall, WW84 is about 30min too long for the story it told… especially since it’s not connected at all to the DCEU. In fact, it spent 20 minutes on a completely unnecessary and disconnected opening scene. If you walked in around the25min mark, it wouldn’t have mattered.

I don’t want to TRASH this movie but it just didn’t do much for such a fantastic character. I love Gal Gadot as WW but the plotline was so TV episode-ish.

Wonder Woman is basically a GODDESS -and yet, she’s relegated to fighting petty crimes? Ugh. As Amazing as she is, Her stunts could have been pulled off by the crew of ‘Fast and Furious’. The movie doesn’t pick up steam until the back half… and by then, things get so crazy you’re just waiting for the Final Showdown so it can end.

The mid-credit scene was great for everyone over 40 years old LOL

RATING:

3 out of 5 Stars

 

Posted in Movie Reviews, New Releases | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

‘TENET’ MOVIE REVIEW: CHRISTOPHER NOLAN’S LATEST MIND-F%%K OF A MOVIE! (But don’t worry, I explain everything!)


Siiiiiiike! 

I ain’t explaining SHIT! 😂 –  Jay Dub here, back on my movie grind during this COVID19 era and I checked out TENET along with 6 other folks in our sanitized 100-seat theater. Read my epic review (and warning) below!

1/2  SECOND REVIEW:

🤯!?!

FULL REVIEW:

I am Warning you NOW. This movie will F%CK with your mind like No other!

And when you DO see it, don’t even ACT like you understand it.

 Here’s the deal: I actually have a very FIRM understanding of Universal physics! I read books on shit like – Light speed travel – quantum entanglement – entropy – time travel – quantum tunneling – the grandfather paradox – Fermi’s Paradox, and so forth and etc, etc… and even I WAS LIKE

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Apparently my understanding of Physics only works when Neil deGrasse Tyson explains it! Christopher Nolan is a different beast!

Fresh from the movie and My head is still spinning – but I’m about 87% sure that TENET is in fact, a Masterpiece.

And I’m also sure that Christopher Nolan is either A) FROM the future, or B) has a link TO the future. 🤔 Either way, I feel like My Future Self – Future Jay Dubb, totally get’s this movie and is LAUGHING at me from the year 2025 like “Ni&&ah you totally missed all those details?? you dumbass! Bahahahahaa!”

(F%ck you, Future Self! Tell me now)

‘TENET’ stars John David Washington (Yep, Denzel’s son), who has impeccable swag the entire time. It also stars music film composer Ludwig Göransson.  Yeah, I know Robert Pattinson’s name is on the billing… but the REAL co-star of this movie is Göransson’s massive and JARRING original film score! Goransson’s music can make buttering toast feel like the most dramatic shit EVER.

Göransson’s musical score keeps this movie moving forward (and, I guess’ backwards’??) – it’s as if Hans Zimmerman took ‘shrooms… and Then went into an ‘Inception’-like dream state, and then his Dream Self dropped acid…. while still on the ‘shrooms! –  and THEN he wrote the score to TENET while trippin massive balls! 🙃

(turns out this guy also does music for hip hop artists AND he has won Grammys and Oscars. Go figure)

 Either way, Ludwig Göransson is my new hero.  I would love for him to score my life – just for a Day.

But seriously, John David Washington carries this film with Phenomenal Swag, much like his daddy used to – and DAMN if this boy don’t sound JUSTLIKEHISDADDY!  

I feel like director Christopher Nolan is simply trying to outdo himself and prove how much SMARTER he is than the rest of Humanity. How does someone film a movie halfway in reverse…. and run it alongside another movie moving forward in REAL time? 🤔 And, Where does Nolan find time to think of this shit!?? Didn’t he JUST Drop an epic war movie called Dunkirk? Does this man ever sleep? Honestly, I am re-thinking how pathetic my own life is! – that this guy can crank out these Epic mind-benders while I struggle to edit a single podcast! 😤

 SMH….. I shall sleep no more.😩

  I advise you to go see TENET with an open mind and just enjoy it for the Visual Spectacle that it is.

**DO NOT TRY TO UNDERSTAND IT**. (at least not the first time)

“So you’re telling me this movie is about time-travel?” – ‘yeah…don’t over think it!’

The movie involves a MASSIVE plot about Time-warping/Inversion and two minor subplots that I’m not even sure what the point was about. But it allllll sets up for an insane Final Act that defies description.

Oh I’m sure that TENET theories will abound on the internet for YEARS. There will be an ARMY of nerds on Reddit threads devoted to understanding this movie. I’m sure I missed about a hundred different Easter eggs.

It’s fun to watch, but the dialogue and smarts-y physics jargon can be exhausting (think ‘Interstellar’ – but with terrorists) – and that’s coming from someone who actually enjoys physics!

siiiigh….

All that being said, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND going to see TENET. You simply HAVE to see it.

You have to SEE IT.

Like I mentioned earlier, TENET might be a masterpiece that’s waaaaaay ahead of its time. We all have to catch up to it. You’ll lie to yourself and say ‘Oh I get it!’ – No. No you won’t, hahaha. Just Watch it and Join in on the discussions later. Listen to every other person get it wrong lol

And I can’t wait to tell you how wrong YOU are. 😛

RATING!

(out of 5 time-bullets…which only makes sense after seeing it)

Posted in New Releases, REVIEWS! | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bad Boy Nerd Presents: SiREN (2016) Movie Review – Quarantine Edition!

Your boy Jay Dubb here with my latest movie review like only I CAN DO! Being the horror fan that I am I watched SiRen on Netflix with my Partner in Crime during our awesome quarantine watch parties! Check out what I thought it below!

 

1-Second review:

Demon Sex! 😀

 

FULL REVIEW:

Maaan look, I’ve done some kinky shit in my day but NOTHING like this! lol

SiREN is cool because it deals with mythology -which i love- and features an actual/factual Succubus 🙂

If you don’t know what a Succubus is – They are demons taking the form of females and basically killing their prey with nonstop sex.

uh huh…you all cute and “cuddly NOW…”

That might SOUND GOOD in theory but…imagine your GF/Wife giving you all the sex you think you ever wanted. Not just all the sex but ALL THE SEX – whether you want it or not. Like, all day and nite nonstop, Because that’s what Succubi do!

(Bitch get off me!)

*Btw…Succubus pronounced: ‘I suck, you Bus’ (a nut) haha

Fans of the cult horror movie ‘V/H/S’ will love this. Remember that weird little chick from ‘Amatuer Night’? Well she’s back. Because all ZERO of us were like ‘Hey that flying demon bitch needs her own movie!’

So now I’m wondering when does ‘SiREN’ take place? Before or AFTER the events of ‘V/H/S’??

Is she just out COLLECTING rando drunk white dudes to fuck?? LOL

In the realm of movies there are a few ingredients for White people doing questionable shit on any given night…

“Lets get drunk and do drugs at a bachelor party!” (The Hangover)

“Let’s go backpacking in Eastern Europe!” (Hostel)

“Lets go off the grid in the middle of nowhere!” (The Descent. Annd The Ritual…AND Midsommer!)

“Let’s go to a decrepit cabin in the woods!” (literally every 3rd horror movie INCLUDING ‘Cabin the the Woods’ lol)

So you see my point.

During SiREN…White Guy A, B and C take White Guy D to a bachelor party night and end up at a secret mansion party and of course…OF COURSE shit goes wrong when White Knight guy decides to do something absolutely ridiculous which leads to Bad Things.

There are lessons to be learned here – mainly ‘leave that bitch where you found her‘ –

white people, you can’t save EVERYTHING; dogs. whales. trees. demons lol

 

I gotta admit i kinda like this weird little succubus, played by actress Hannah Fierman -who is forever immortalized as Lily the sex demon. She goes from sorta Gothic Cute to ‘WHOA! Wear a paper bag bitch!’ in a hot second!

I was debating with my Partner in Crime about whether or not I could BANG A DEMON.

tbh, after some shrooms I probably could?? But man…the butt stuff. :/

 

When it comes to Butt Stuff I know some chicks are like ‘dontknockituntilyourtryit!’ and YES, i know the male perennial gland is up the ass – or whatever its called.  Nah. i’m good yo.

Something tells me there are people watching SiRen thinking ‘Oooo, I gotta TRY THAT!’ :O

You freaks.

RATING-

(out of 5 Soul-sucking, balls-draining Suck-you-bus)

 

Posted in Movie Reviews, New Releases, REVIEWS! | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment