‘TENET’ MOVIE REVIEW: CHRISTOPHER NOLAN’S LATEST MIND-F%%K OF A MOVIE! (But don’t worry, I explain everything!)


Siiiiiiike! 

I ain’t explaining SHIT! 😂 –  Jay Dub here, back on my movie grind during this COVID19 era and I checked out TENET along with 6 other folks in our sanitized 100-seat theater. Read my epic review (and warning) below!

1/2  SECOND REVIEW:

🤯!?!

FULL REVIEW:

I am Warning you NOW. This movie will F%CK with your mind like No other!

And when you DO see it, don’t even ACT like you understand it.

 Here’s the deal: I actually have a very FIRM understanding of Universal physics! I read books on shit like – Light speed travel – quantum entanglement – entropy – time travel – quantum tunneling – the grandfather paradox – Fermi’s Paradox, and so forth and etc, etc… and even I WAS LIKE

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Apparently my understanding of Physics only works when Neil deGrasse Tyson explains it! Christopher Nolan is a different beast!

Fresh from the movie and My head is still spinning – but I’m about 87% sure that TENET is in fact, a Masterpiece.

And I’m also sure that Christopher Nolan is either A) FROM the future, or B) has a link TO the future. 🤔 Either way, I feel like My Future Self – Future Jay Dubb, totally get’s this movie and is LAUGHING at me from the year 2025 like “Ni&&ah you totally missed all those details?? you dumbass! Bahahahahaa!”

(F%ck you, Future Self! Tell me now)

‘TENET’ stars John David Washington (Yep, Denzel’s son), who has impeccable swag the entire time. It also stars music film composer Ludwig Göransson.  Yeah, I know Robert Pattinson’s name is on the billing… but the REAL co-star of this movie is Göransson’s massive and JARRING original film score! Goransson’s music can make buttering toast feel like the most dramatic shit EVER.

Göransson’s musical score keeps this movie moving forward (and, I guess’ backwards’??) – it’s as if Hans Zimmerman took ‘shrooms… and Then went into an ‘Inception’-like dream state, and then his Dream Self dropped acid…. while still on the ‘shrooms! –  and THEN he wrote the score to TENET while trippin massive balls! 🙃

(turns out this guy also does music for hip hop artists AND he has won Grammys and Oscars. Go figure)

 Either way, Ludwig Göransson is my new hero.  I would love for him to score my life – just for a Day.

But seriously, John David Washington carries this film with Phenomenal Swag, much like his daddy used to – and DAMN if this boy don’t sound JUSTLIKEHISDADDY!  

I feel like director Christopher Nolan is simply trying to outdo himself and prove how much SMARTER he is than the rest of Humanity. How does someone film a movie halfway in reverse…. and run it alongside another movie moving forward in REAL time? 🤔 And, Where does Nolan find time to think of this shit!?? Didn’t he JUST Drop an epic war movie called Dunkirk? Does this man ever sleep? Honestly, I am re-thinking how pathetic my own life is! – that this guy can crank out these Epic mind-benders while I struggle to edit a single podcast! 😤

 SMH….. I shall sleep no more.😩

  I advise you to go see TENET with an open mind and just enjoy it for the Visual Spectacle that it is.

**DO NOT TRY TO UNDERSTAND IT**. (at least not the first time)

“So you’re telling me this movie is about time-travel?” – ‘yeah…don’t over think it!’

The movie involves a MASSIVE plot about Time-warping/Inversion and two minor subplots that I’m not even sure what the point was about. But it allllll sets up for an insane Final Act that defies description.

Oh I’m sure that TENET theories will abound on the internet for YEARS. There will be an ARMY of nerds on Reddit threads devoted to understanding this movie. I’m sure I missed about a hundred different Easter eggs.

It’s fun to watch, but the dialogue and smarts-y physics jargon can be exhausting (think ‘Interstellar’ – but with terrorists) – and that’s coming from someone who actually enjoys physics!

siiiigh….

All that being said, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND going to see TENET. You simply HAVE to see it.

You have to SEE IT.

Like I mentioned earlier, TENET might be a masterpiece that’s waaaaaay ahead of its time. We all have to catch up to it. You’ll lie to yourself and say ‘Oh I get it!’ – No. No you won’t, hahaha. Just Watch it and Join in on the discussions later. Listen to every other person get it wrong lol

And I can’t wait to tell you how wrong YOU are. 😛

RATING!

(out of 5 time-bullets…which only makes sense after seeing it)

 

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