Bad Boy Nerd Presents: SiREN (2016) Movie Review – Quarantine Edition!

Your boy Jay Dubb here with my latest movie review like only I CAN DO! Being the horror fan that I am I watched SiRen on Netflix with my Partner in Crime during our awesome quarantine watch parties! Check out what I thought it below!

 

1-Second review:

Demon Sex! 😀

 

FULL REVIEW:

Maaan look, I’ve done some kinky shit in my day but NOTHING like this! lol

SiREN is cool because it deals with mythology -which i love- and features an actual/factual Succubus 🙂

If you don’t know what a Succubus is – They are demons taking the form of females and basically killing their prey with nonstop sex.

uh huh…you all cute and “cuddly NOW…”

That might SOUND GOOD in theory but…imagine your GF/Wife giving you all the sex you think you ever wanted. Not just all the sex but ALL THE SEX – whether you want it or not. Like, all day and nite nonstop, Because that’s what Succubi do!

(Bitch get off me!)

*Btw…Succubus pronounced: ‘I suck, you Bus’ (a nut) haha

Fans of the cult horror movie ‘V/H/S’ will love this. Remember that weird little chick from ‘Amatuer Night’? Well she’s back. Because all ZERO of us were like ‘Hey that flying demon bitch needs her own movie!’

So now I’m wondering when does ‘SiREN’ take place? Before or AFTER the events of ‘V/H/S’??

Is she just out COLLECTING rando drunk white dudes to fuck?? LOL

In the realm of movies there are a few ingredients for White people doing questionable shit on any given night…

“Lets get drunk and do drugs at a bachelor party!” (The Hangover)

“Let’s go backpacking in Eastern Europe!” (Hostel)

“Lets go off the grid in the middle of nowhere!” (The Descent. Annd The Ritual…AND Midsommer!)

“Let’s go to a decrepit cabin in the woods!” (literally every 3rd horror movie INCLUDING ‘Cabin the the Woods’ lol)

So you see my point.

During SiREN…White Guy A, B and C take White Guy D to a bachelor party night and end up at a secret mansion party and of course…OF COURSE shit goes wrong when White Knight guy decides to do something absolutely ridiculous which leads to Bad Things.

There are lessons to be learned here – mainly ‘leave that bitch where you found her‘ –

white people, you can’t save EVERYTHING; dogs. whales. trees. demons lol

 

I gotta admit i kinda like this weird little succubus, played by actress Hannah Fierman -who is forever immortalized as Lily the sex demon. She goes from sorta Gothic Cute to ‘WHOA! Wear a paper bag bitch!’ in a hot second!

I was debating with my Partner in Crime about whether or not I could BANG A DEMON.

tbh, after some shrooms I probably could?? But man…the butt stuff. :/

 

When it comes to Butt Stuff I know some chicks are like ‘dontknockituntilyourtryit!’ and YES, i know the male perennial gland is up the ass – or whatever its called.  Nah. i’m good yo.

Something tells me there are people watching SiRen thinking ‘Oooo, I gotta TRY THAT!’ :O

You freaks.

RATING-

(out of 5 Soul-sucking, balls-draining Suck-you-bus)

 

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