Stephen King’s PET SEMATARY! (2019) -a Movie review resurrecting the original story (and book!)

Jay Dubb here with another awesome movie review! This week I checked out  one of Stephen King’s all-time classics ‘Pet Sematary’!’ The story about a burial ground bringing the dead back to life! As always, a quick 30-second review is followed by a more in-depth review. How does this version stack up the the 1989 original? 

30-SECOND REVIEW:

Death Sucks. 😦

Death is the TRUE horror of life. Losing a loved one – sucks. Losing your favorite pet – sucks. But you wanna know what sucks more than death? Coming BACK from the Dead. This new version of Pet Sematary doesn’t take a lot of chances and left a LOT of unexplored material. With the zombie-obsessed society we live in, they could have pushed it further. But if does address the question, ‘If you could bring them back loved ones, would you?’ Because once they cross over they might not be the same…👿

 

FULL REVIEW

Let’s start by saying that Stephen King turned Maine into THE scariest place on Earth! After IT (killer clown) and The MIST (killer everything)…I don’t want nooooo parts of Maine lol

Obviously this family didn’t get the memo because they move to Derry, Maine…which is like, Central Hub for all sorts of supernatural fuckery. And weird kids doing weird shit.

 

Jason Clarke plays Louis Creed, a doctor moving his family from big city Boston to Derry, Maine – again, home to evil interdiminsional clown Pennywise and secret burial grounds. Ironically, he moved here to slow down and spend more time with his chil’ren. He, his wife, the kids and their cat Winston Churchill aka Chuuuch! haha (no, just Church) settle into their new home.

Soon enough, disaster strikes! And Louis is doing the unthinkable. You know… that crazy horror movie shit that White people do? ‘Hmmmm, despite all warning signs, maybe…..’  Yeah…THAT shit. 😂😂 😂

John Lithgow gives him a Bad Idea and before you know it, we have a secret evil burial ground that brings things back to life. Kinda. (define ‘Life’)

we should TOTALLY cross this impassable barrier. because why not.

Cuddly Church is now Evil Dead Church, goes all psycho-cat because DEAD is DEAD for a reason, and now Louis has the resurrection itch. ‘That’s when Bad Idea turns Worse and the fun REALLY begins. 😈

What’s Dope!

Death. Death and grief are some heavy subjects. Losing a loved one is scary enough. And if you’re a parent your BIGGEST fear is losing a child. Plus, I guess zombies is kinda sucky too?

Maine. Thanks to Stephen King, Maine tops the list of Scariest Places to live in America. Maine take center stage once again!

John Lithgow as Old Man with Dark Secret! Love Lithgow in pretty much everything he’s ever done. His role is a bit low-key but still love the guy!

Evil kids. Evil kids are so much fun!

Evil Sister. Zelda, as you know from the books is a GREAT part of this story. hell, they can make a movie on just that shit right there!

What’s Whack…

Those creepy looking children in animal masks doing the burial procession – the ones you see in the trailers? They should have had a bigger role in the movie. In fact, I would have love to see MORE evil kids, more evil animals, evil birds,  evil residents, etc… this movie felt too ‘contained’  for a feature horror film.

Story – When you have a secret as big as THIS, it begs to be explored a bit more. Something as powerful as reincarnation should get more…. out of control. In 2019, we’ve seen be-headings on Youtube, guys drop-kicking old women, and Trump is president. This movie could have really pushed the envelope.

Church the Cat, star of the movie. Sure, he’s a an evil cat, but he’s not nearly as scary as say…a hairless Cornish Rex. Those things  look terrifying! 😲

Overall, as a horror movie the new Pet Sematary is nowhere NEAR the scariest shit I’ve seen in recent years. It’s a decent fright-fest and it has its moments. It has maybe one or two jump scares, a little bit of tension, and great 3rd act with an alternate ending from the original story. Unless you’re a hardcore horror movie fan like I am, Wait to watch it on streaming.

But you know what’s even scarier? – REAL LIFE LOSS.

Rating:

  

(out of 5 evil cats!)

‘Pet Sematary’ is adapted from a novel by Stephen King. Co-Directed by Kevin Kolsch/Dennis Widmeyer. Starring Louis Clark, John Lithgow, and Amy Seimetz.

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