2009 Summer Movie Showdown!
3 months….no…4 MONTHS of gratutitous action, loud explosions, and mindblowing special FX!!
Sheeeeeit, I spend an entire years worth of movie money on just summer movies alone! From May to August -we’re talking $200-300!! And I don’t buy $10 theater popcorn – helll naw Playah! I sneaks mine in Grandpa Freeman-style. Hahaa
and here in Austin, TX lucky bastards like me have the Alamo Drafthouse!
the ULTIMATE movie theater! – trust me, its an experience like no other – the audience participation is off da chain. The staff don’t wear those corny, corporate logo polos. You get to see outrageous vignettes from classic B-Movies – AND – before the movie even starts you can get blitzed off of beer and stuffed from freshly prepared entrees! But i digress…
So this summer lacks a Will Smith – BUT – has a Will Ferrell.
And Marvel Comics makes sure to keep a blockbuster on tap every summer from now on! This summer also has mutants, gangsters, all kinds of robots, nazis, flying houses, dinosaurs, and a gay reporter!
So Friday, Dumpling, and I are gonna give our unique perspective on the ENTIRE Summer Movie schedule – of the movies that matter! So without further ado….
Here is – ‘2 Comic Book Guys’
Summer Movie Showdown!
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
– Wolverine’s backstory with tons of guest mutants.
Jay: Gambit – Finally!
Friday: Sexy ass Emma frost!!
Dumpling: Hugh Jackman’s wet muscles and claws!! Niiiiiiice 😀
Star Trek (2009)
– Re-envisioned masterpiece?
Jay: maaaan , the teasers have me wetting my drawers! I’m a lite-Trekkie, so I can’t wait to watch Zachary Quinto take the mantle of Spock from Leonard Nimoy. Sweeeeeet!
Friday: Muh-fuccin John Cho is Sulu! ‘Harold’ from Harold and Kumar go to White Castle stepped it up!!
Dumpling: I love me some Zachary Quinto (Sylar)!
Transformer’s: Revenge of the Fallen
– More and bigger robots! Way bigger.
Jay: DEVASTATORRRRRR! And more Megan Fox! 😀
Friday: If i had a robot crush, Bumblebee would definitely be it! and Megan Fox is baaaaacccckkkk!!!
Dumpling: Nothing is sexier than the classic transformers sound effects -‘Oooh-Oooh-err-err- chirr -chirr -chikk!’ – Ok, just click here —> transformer sounds
G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra
– Greatest cartoon and toy of all time -turned- movie.
Jay: We finally get to see Snake Eyes vs. Storm Shadow on the BIG SCREEN! And – The Baroness! Oooooooh ❤
Friday: Sienna Miller. nuff said!
Dumpling: I know that Eddie Murphy stuck G.I. Joe in his butt 😛 ….
Angels and Demons
– Robert Langdon pre-returns! Before DaVinci Code.
Jay: Never mind all of the boy-loving, vatican-hats! DaVinci Code ROCKED! – and ‘Angels and Demons’ is better than ‘Da Code’ ….soooo….. 🙂
Friday: Can’t wait to see this sequel………..
Dumpling: Destroy the Vatican!! (j/k) don’t kill me please.
– John Connor leads the human rebellion against Skynet!
Jay: No Ahh-nuld? Oh well….Bale looks bad-azz as John Connor!
Friday: This looks like it could be better than Terminator 2!!
Dumpling: I had a crush on Young John Connor – older John Connor [Bale] is SEXY!
Land of the Lost
– Will Ferrell and dinosaurs.
Jay: YO – this dude can do no wrong with comedy!! Well, no more wrong after ‘Bewitched’, I mean. Still say he needs to make a Knight Rider movie.
Friday: Will Ferrell? T-Rex? I wonder how much soda am I going to spit out my nose?!!!!
Dumpling: Will Ferrell and dinosaurs!! Need I say more? “He’s right behind me, isn’t he?…….I knew it…”
– Gangsters. Johnny Depp. Michael Mann.
Jay: Goodfellas, Casino, Heat, Carlito’s Way, The Departed, Donnie Brasco. Make room for one more.
Friday: “I can rob any bank, anytime, anywhere. They have to be at all the banks, all the time.”
Dumpling: Johnny Depp? Christian Bale? Gangster movie? SLOBBER!!
– Sasha’s latest comedic genius supposedly trumps Borat!
Jay: The trailer shows Bruno adopting a black kid ‘like Angelina and Madonna’! haaa – And then he names him O.J.!!! lmao!
Friday: I haven’t heard anything about this, so i know i’ll love it!!
Dumpling: Guilty pleasure – so wrong yet – so RIGHT! hahahaha
– Tarantino’s vision of Nazi Germany.
Jay: Brad Pitt vs. Nazis! Are you fuccin kidding me?! This is Fight Club meets Pulp fiction meets Saving Private Ryan! And I want that poster hanging in my living room!
Friday: Tarantino? Pitt? count me in!!!!!
Dumpling: Leave it to Quentin Tarantino to kill some Nazis!
UP (from Pixar)
– Latest Pixar masterpiece.
Jay: Pixar has kiddie movies on lock! And can’t lie – adults love ’em too!
Friday: Damn you, Pixar!! you always know how to get my cash!!!!
Dumpling: Pixar always gets my money $$$!
….And the Summer Movie Blockbuster $$$ Winner Is!…..
Jay: It should be Star Trek or Transformers II –BUT – kids and people will flock in droves to see Pixar’s UP!
Dumpling: STAR TREK!! Way too many fans – old and new!
Friday: Transformers II. hands down. or G.I. Joe.
*** AND NOW – for our Readers – Which movie will be the biggest $$$ this summer?? **