T.G.I.F – AHHHHH!!!! i’m getting them in early!!!!!
what’s up, everyone!! just want say first off, keep up the good work with reading the most fantastic blog this side of the internet!! we do it for you, really.
alas, i’m not eating that fucking gum this week. lol, i might actually have to throw that shit away. but, i’ve been saving a bunch of money by switching my car insurance to geico, and eating off the dollar menu at any local fast food restaraunt.
so, i switched up to a Gold’s Gym membership from my super expensive ass Lifetime fitness one. now, at Lifetime, you see women who look like this,
and could possibly end up in bed with you cooling down or stretching in a position like this
……and at Gold’s Gym, you’ll get women who look like this,
with the goal of looking like this,
and also could possible end up at your efficiency apartment in some weird position looking like this
……but that was really just so i could get in some pics of naked women on the blog, lol. i didn’t make up the whole switching gym spiel, i just made up the part about YOU getting hot women back to your place. wanna know why? cuz your asses are timid! i tell women i love them and that they look great when i walk past them in the gym. uncomfortable? yes! but it sets that wheel in motion, like, “he noticed me! this working out is paying off. i’m getting attention!” and then they work out harder, which ends up benefitting them. i’m not doing it for me, i’m just here to boost egos and make people feel good about themselves, that’s all.
i’m watching sports center, and Justin Timberlake just said he has a man crush on Lebron James!!
dammit, with the start of the playoffs, and hockey playoffs already in progress, its gonna be a long summer of golf and baseball. so sport center’s gonna take a little hibernation from my list of favorite channels……..better reprogram my cable box and add lifetime,
and the we
channels back on. what the hell am i saying? i should not do that. better go get my balls off the shelf out of the jar and put them back in.
for some odd reason, i have a taste for buffalo wings. its 7:41 am central standard time here. but i could go for ten right now. i need to cut my intake, though. yesterday i had a “banana flavored muscle milk shake” nowhere on that fucking box did it say contains REAL bananas. so imagine my suprise when i get halfway through, and i feel something hit the tongue. now, at first i thought it was the protein, just not shaken up enough. but no, it was fucking banana. i love bananas. delicious fruit, they are. but if you aren’t ready to eat a banana, and you get a banana? your taste buds are like, “hey what the hell is this? is this rotten? do i spit this out? wait, its banana! hey, you need to warn me that we’re eating banana! i’m almost went into gag reflex mode! you’re lucky this is banana…………” i have conversations with my mouth all the time. you don’t?! it’ll tell you what it like, so get on it! how many times did i say banana?
this bud light lime’s hitting the spot right now……..i’ve only had one, and i could possibly be lightly buzzin. kidding, i ate some pizza rolls, beeeeeyotch!!!!!
is ANYONE else excited about WOLVERINE coming out next weekend?!! is it me or is it looking like this summer Hollywood finally stepped it up? not only america’s favorite canuck, a week later there’s Star Trek, and come summer, G.I. Joe (YO JOE!!!!!!)
who’s watching the playoffs right now? asldkf;a onqaergnp qa h4t02y80nona;lsdkhZKS >reth got that shit? yeah, baby! getcha some! sorry, i fell asleep with my fingers on all the keys, lol. so what if i might’ve just made that up? i gotta take a leak!!!!
does anyone out there feel like spooning right now? i’m a warm, comfortable body, with big arms eager to lay in bed. but you have to be topless.
and have shirt wrestlers.
and be female. didn’t i mention that earlier?
friday, grabbin lotion and paper towels!! i love you, lucy pinder!