Galactus WHAT IF?………..2 Comic Book Guys report….

WHAT IF?………..GALACTUS, the WORLD EATER himself, had to go on a diet?

could you imagine the talk? what doctor is brave enough to tell a muh fuccah who eats PLANETS that he has to go on a diet? that conversation would go as follows: “Uh, Mr Galactus, sir? Hi, Dr. McEcklestein here. Yes. We’re going to need, is that screaming in the background? Oh. Okay. Well, I just wanted to call about the results of your physical and discuss some options with you on cutting down on your calorie/carbohydrate/cholesterol  intake. What’s that sucking sound? Hello? It’s pretty loud, sir. I know. Well, you have a few options here. One, you could just reduce the amount of salt you intake. It’s causing a lot of build up, which leads to the chest pains you’re having. Did I just here a rocket ship? Is now not a good time to talk? Well, another option is to eat smaller portions, sir. maybe introduce some fruit in your diet. a healthier lifestyle would benefit you in terms of longevity. Well sir, I can see that you’re busy, so I’ll let you go. Oh, another way to go about this is the Adkins diet. that’s completely cutting out grains, potatoes, some vegetables are ok, they have good carbs. Once you isolate the bad foods, you can focus on eating towards a healthier you. You’ll need some more info? Well, there’ s all kinds of info about this available on the internet, or you can come back by for a consult. Thanks for your time, Mr. Galactus. I’ll look foward to hearing from you. Bye-bye!”

how FAST do you think that dude’s home planet’s gonna get a visitor from the silver surfer, lol? Galactus ain’t visiting for a consult! that’s how this dude lives, snacking on Saturn

for a quick meal before moving on to another CONSTELLATION (someone’s using NASA terms today!) to begin his real meal! it would be funny as shit if he couldn’t eat a planet, though. if all he could eat were meterorites, he’d drop pounds so quickly! REALLY, how many meteors could there be in a solar system? i mean, not too many fall to earth, right? most burn up in the outer levels of the atmosphere (i used to read a lot of books, dammit!) and very few actually touch the earth’s surface. so he’d have to stay away from our galaxy for a little while.

i wonder if the gaseous planets actually give him gas? Stan, a lil help here?

WHAT IF…….The White Queen was a racist?

About Friday

Connoisseur of comic books and culinary amateur extraordinaire, attempting to balance passion and hobby with life occasionally getting in the way.
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1 Response to Galactus WHAT IF?………..2 Comic Book Guys report….

  1. Jay says:

    WTH?! What manner of fuckery is this? TGIF is….on time! Fuk that – AHEAD of schedule! hahaa not only that – but we get TWO blogs and a possible! ahhhh shit! Steppin’ that blog game up playah!


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