Ashton Kutcher hits 1,000,000 Twitter Followers!

And directly after writing that? – I  envisioned the porno version of Twitter called TITTER. Cuz u know there’s a porn version for EVERYTHING. (porntube, pawgtube, etc)

by leaving a mssg you leave a ‘TIT’. And u have to describe your level of freak-nastiness in 140 words or less!! In fact…..why u bulllshittin’ lemme go google that real quick and register the name! 🙂  ….[space of time] …. ok so www dot Titter dot com already  exists (Im not putting the actaul website addy up becuz its a girli-fied site and you will NOT be getting sent there from HERE! oooohhhh no!) – but its not porn site! Alas and alack – such a waste.

Anyhoo – so Ashton Kutcher has already eclipsed the MILLIONTH TWEET FOLLOWER on Twitter!! even beating out media juggernaut CNN!! [who cheated, btw…];_ylt=AmqkvABZq1CAsvC4JVlyO28azJV4

Way to kick CNN’s azz, Ashton!  😀

And here my azz has yet to even SIGN UP on Twitter! LOL

Matter fact, DUDE – i just fuckin heard about Twitter like, 2 months ago! Which is whack cuz the other day i had an E-piphany (pun folks!) of actually ‘TWITTING’ and seeing how many stalkers followersI can get! Since Im on vacay, i planned on sitting around and just twitting for hours on end – making thousands of random, social-network friends [you know the type] and talking to them non-stop! I was swinging for the fences ….HELL – I was aiming for the stars on this one!

But then ASHTON had to go and be all famous and handsome and funny an shit – and already hit 1,000,000 tweet followers!!

AND – just to be Extra-Awesome ‘cuz he CAN – he cut a check for a cool 100 large ones [that is $100,000 for you non-street peoples] to buy mesquito nets for African chillun’s!

AND – he’s  married to Demi Moore – who is forever Molly in my head!


Yes – thank you for reminding me of that. 😐 Not hatin’….Im jus sayin……

So now my whole Twitter dream is deferred shot siderailed FUK’D.  I ain’t even gonna bother now 😐

Matter fact – U know what I feel like?! I feel like that time when Charles Barkley was guarding Jordan – and Jordan came tearing down the lane – and Barkley had PLANNED on guarding Mike? – and Mike just started jumping flying – and Barkley looked up at Jordan and said to himself  ‘Fuk it’ – and just walked away…..


Yep. That’s my whoooole Twitter experience right there! 😛


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2 Responses to Ashton Kutcher hits 1,000,000 Twitter Followers!

  1. Riley Freeman says:

    ….You’re a HATER!


  2. Jay says:

    A hater?! RILEY FREEMAN?! Hey, who let this little badazz kid in?!! lol


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